For a myriad of reasons our friendships shift ongoingly throughout life. Many changes occur in stride, others are more conscious. Friendships can become stale, or lose their zest. Occasionally you may want to assess your friendships. If you feel a lacking perhaps it’s time to cultivate things.
If stagnate or drifting relationships cannot be reinvigorated then pursue other friendships. Look for individuals that have common interests or where there is matching intellectual or emotional depth. Pursue individuals that can have a positive influence on you. Associates through work, sports or other connecting threads may be of a friendly nature, but they are not friendships. Those associates are a good place to start when cultivating new friendships. The extra effort involved in reconnecting with old friends or scheduling time with someone new can be well worth the extra effort.
Good friendships are accepting of your differences and leave you feeling better for having spent time together. Look for friendships where you are left feeling; stronger, at ease, relaxed, inspired or perhaps just more content. Most importantly – Do you like who you are, when you are with them?
The way some people avoid silence as if it was the plague, I often think that many have yet to make friends with themselves. Unable to be with the thoughts that flit through their heads. I’ve seen people prefer bad background noise over turning off the radio or television.
We have heard about the power of positive thinking, and how optimism is better than pessimism, but knowing is not necessarily doing. Your mind travels with you – always – dispensing thoughts at random. Would you consider your mind an encouraging friend? Is it your ally? Your success depends on it.
Athletes need to be friends with their bodies; the synergy with their body is vital for athletic performance. Many athletes rely on muscle memory, to carry them through rote actions. They can trust their muscles to respond as needed.
The traits of good friendship include reliability, dependability, and mutual acceptance. Are your thoughts, encouraging, supportive, or filled with warmth and kindness? If your thoughts are derogatory, pessimistic, negative, or involve fear mongering, the relationship you have may be less than ideal.
Good friends see your potential, and remind you of your abilities. Good friends are honest, with compassion they let you know what you need to learn or remind you to look at the needed steps to create a successful project. One would not tolerate a condescending personal relationship, do not tolerate it from your mind. Your mind is trainable; you can teach it to be an encouraging friend. One day, it may even become your best friend.
This piece was posted on the website SickNotWeak. I loved the irony of it being posted on the American Independence Day.
It emerged from within me one late February evening and essentially wrote itself.
Write Out Loud – Day 6
If you are feeling anxious – don’t assume it is all for nothing. Anxiousness is often immediately perceived as negative. Anxiety itself is not 100% bad. Anxiousness comes because we are worried or concerned, about the end result of an upcoming event. Bluntly put: people who don’t care – don’t care. If you don’t care about the end result you won’t be anxious. Being prone to anxiety can also mean you are prone to competency. People with anxiety issues are often strong planners. Anxiety is a signal that you have a bigger commitment. That concern we feel will have us put in extra attention to ensure a job well done. Successful people are anxious from time to time. People with high standards or high goals are interested and concerned about the outcome.
Anxiety can be a sign of growth. Typically anxiety occurs when we are tackling a new assignment. Perhaps we are taking on a challenge that is unfamiliar to us. We could be entering into new situations that lead to unfamiliar territory. Anxiety is often part of learning, new circumstances, or new events. We are stretching ourselves. If you were never anxious about anything, my concern would be that perhaps you aren’t growing or taking on new challenges. As the saying goes, ‘a ship in harbour is safe but that’s not what ships were built for/.
I remember the location and the student that said it. I can still picture his face under his ball cap with his feet outstretched before him, sitting in the front, two rows in from the wall on my left.
I was their Rookie English Teacher at the University. A native Canadian in the middle of the Mexican mountains, still adjusting to mexican ways and a foreign country. I had my knickers in a knot about something. I don’t remember what now but this wayward student who was half my age pegged the truth with a bullseye in that moment. Relajrse – as my brain riffled through my sparse but growing Spanish vocabulary the meaning hit me as I found the transition. Relax – one word yet it shot through me like an arrow as my brain captured the translation, grasped the meaning and let it take hold. Relax – I could relax in this moment and not take this issue, which I’ve long since forgotten – so seriously. The issue that had my knickers in a not that day was probably irrelevant a week later – but the lesson of that one word uttered through the classroom – took hold and has stayed with me for several years now.
Life will move forward and that which needs to happen will happen. In this moment I can say what I can say and do what I can do and I can relax as there is nothing more that can be done. Somethings are just out of control and beyond my sphere of influence.
Ahhh yes – Relarjse.