Don’t trust your Blind spot.

Often we cannot see our own issues – and we often lack the right angle to see the dynamics between ourselves and those we are closest too.  From our partner, our children, our close colleagues or friends and neighbours there are times where we just cannot see the forest for the trees.

We may be caught in our blind spot for many reasons. Whatever is triggering the lack of perspective be it; naïveté, habit, an inaccurate perception or haste – we all have reasons why we just do not see and catch certain things. That’s okay – but do you know what your blind spot is – so that you or those around you can adjust for it.  Do you know when to call in another set of eyes – another point of view when needed.  Have you given them permission to call you out?

Do you know when to not trust yourself or when not to trust those who ‘should know’ the answer?

I received a text with directions to my friends home – I had been there once before as her passenger. She resided in that house throughout her childhood, moved out to attend University, marry, etc and twenty years later resided there again to be with her mother following her father’s passing.  She probably came and went out of that house, traveling those same streets, thousands of times over the last forty years. I read the instructions and thought – they don’t make sense. Who was I to trump my single experience over her  thousands of trips on that same path.  I should be turning left not right onto her street I thought.  Previously in our travels out and about town she admitted to being directionally challenged, and hence knew she had a blind spot in that area. The instructions she provided were ‘make a left then a right ‘- somehow she had transposed them and the next day – I made a right then a left onto her street.  My instinct caught her blind spot thus facilitating the orienteering.  Sometimes we loose objectivity the closer something is to us and the best thing to do is to distrust the source. Including when the source is ourselves.

I was at a dance last week and a woman dancing near our table was wearing a tank top style dress.  Her partner and her were strong dancers so I took the liberty of watching and admiring their skill.  She had a tattoo across her upper back.  Not something she could see for herself – but for everyone watching it was obvious.   Some of our character traits are like that.  I saw the tattoo more than her dance partner..   In a basic Fox Trot or Waltz, they would be face-to-face for the majority if not all of the dance. An inexperienced lead will limit things so that he only ever sees the front of her. An experienced dancer can comfortably lead her in a manner such that when he puts her into a spin he catches glimpses of her back.

The stronger the lead, the more he sees of his partner as they transition through various dance styles over the course of an evening. Like the tattoo, many of our character traits don’t need to be discussed for others to note them. They surface automatically as plain as day for others to see.

As on the dance floor, someone less competent will hold back, restricted – trying to control the situation. The lack of trust / competency  results in an unwillingness to be vulnerable or to expose her back side, her blind spot.   Thus regardless of how experienced the lead is he is more limited with an inexperienced partner than a solid – comfortable – adept partner that knows their capabilities and their weaknesses.  A woman who can relax in her own skin and is comfortable within her self and on the dance floor of life will be comfortable with all the rotations and spins her partner can give her and will be comfortable and confident when situations exist where her blind spot might be exposed shall we say.

We all have blind spots. Management courses talk about the elements that we don’t know that is plain as day for others.  In dance – the more you learn the stronger the leader you will be and/or the stronger you will be able to follow.   Having the capacity to take or relinquish control of the situation for the right reasons at the correct level based on the skill set of both your partner and you.   So too in life.  Minimizing our blind spot is a noble pursuit – but elimination of the blind spot is impossible.  Surround yourself with people you trust when you can’t trust yourself,  Then you’ll know that there will always be coverage for your back side.